The man walked into the pub, a small dog stuffed under his arm.
“No dogs,” said the landlord.
“No mere dog,” said the man. “This is a talking dog.”
“Yeah,” said the dog, licking itself.
“And he can do anything,” said the man. “Try him.”
The landlord thought, then pulled out £10.
“OK,” he said, “get me a paper, and bring back the change.”
“Alright,” said the dog, and left.
Ten minutes later, the dog came back with the paper.
The dog spat out 20p.
“Where’s the rest?”
“I said he could talk,” said the man reproachfully. “Not count.”
Jonathan Mills about 5 years ago
This is a different ending for a joke Lenny Henry and Ronnie Corbett used to tell - in the joke, the dog takes the money and hires a prostitute. "Butch!" says his owner as he cavorts (unless his name was Rex). "You've never done this before!" "Hah," says Butch (or whatever) "I never had the money before". A cleaner (and less funny) version came to me in the shower.