Darkness Swarms
As the heavy turrets fill the air with thunderous lead, he’s already picking off his fifth target. Hordes of fast, light predators charge the turrets, instantly chewed into bloody pieces by the gunfire.
Something’s different this time. Monstrous bull creatures, thickly armoured and muscled, cluster around something dark and half hidden. Realisation hits him.
Charging the turrets- it’s a distraction.
He’s emptied half a clip into one of the bulls before it even slows. Too little.
Too late.
The dark creature explodes in a black shower, corrosive blood burning through the Wall like paper.
Out of the Hole, darkness swarms.
6 comments add one below
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D.M. over 9 years ago
What is it that they cluster around? There's a lot going on here. I feel like I'm sifting through it with the main character.
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Jonathan Mills over 9 years ago
Thanks for reading. They cluster around a kind of living bomb - the sole purpose of the bulls is to shield the bomb creatures from anything that might make them explode prematurely. I agree there's a lot going on, was tricky to fit all that I needed to for this part into 100 words - Reaper is having to take in everything that's going on in the same crowded, confusing minute or so as the reader - the difference being that Reaper has the experience to see patterns in the mess.
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D.M. over 9 years ago
Yes, it does make the reader an active participant. When I reread it, it was like Reaper, looking for what I missed! The turrets as a distraction seems to have
you look upward, while the bulls have you look down. Thanks! -
Jonathan Mills over 9 years ago
Ideally I'd make it clearer, just hit the word limit pretty early - sometimes you can fit a lot in 100 words, others you have to cut and cut and hope what you end up with is good enough. Hope you enjoyed it.
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Jim M over 9 years ago
Very much, great addition to an already fantastic series
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Jonathan Mills over 9 years ago
Thanks as always Jim.
