Not Crazy
OK. I'm not crazy about her smile. So full, inviting for everyone else- thin and impatient for me.
I'm not crazy about the way she dresses for work, a burlesque pantomime aimed squarely at the libido of any male that happens to be passing.
I'm not crazy about the way she looks at the guy across the hall. The way she tries to hide the wedding ring I gave her.
I'm not crazy about the way she stares at me, through me. Lips blue. Purple bruises the shape of clutching hands around her throat.
I'm not crazy! I'm not! I'm-
- Category: Crime, Murder & Mystery
5 comments add one below
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Jonathan Mills over 9 years ago
Tweaked, wanted it to be more obvious that the narrator and the woman he's not crazy about were married (if unhappily).
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Jim M over 9 years ago
Brilliant, if twisted. An unsettling glimpse into something unhinged. Got my vote!!
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Jonathan Mills over 9 years ago
Thanks very much.
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D.M. over 9 years ago
Perhaps she also tries to hide the bruises? Scarf/ make up?
I like the repetition and how like a dramatic monologue, the narrator reveals his
true self. Perhaps the repetition at the end isn't needed? -
Jonathan Mills over 9 years ago
Thanks for reading. Um - I'd hoped by the time the bruises came up that it was obvious that she'd been strangled to death, hence the "stares at me, through me. Lips blue" (from oxygen starvation). The repetition at the end ties into this - the narrator is vehemently denying that he's crazy for murdering his wife (although, by this time, he probably is). It also helps to emphasise the difference between the initial "I'm not crazy about..." as in "I don't like the way" and the ending "I'm not crazy", a denial against insanity. Sorry if this didn't come across the way I meant.
