Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) - Expect everyone you meet today to slap you in the face with a beaver.

Pisces (Feb. 19 - Mar. 20) - Don't lend money today to a toddler trying to buy a Ferrari.

Aries (Mar. 21 - Apr. 19) A great day to fry an egg on a flashlight.

Taurus (Apr. 20 - May 20) - Don't drown a baby hamster in a bowl of Jell-O.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20) - You'll be in a peak position today to stuff tuna down your trousers.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22) - Don't drink bleach while standing on your head in Cleveland.

Drabble published December 09, 2019 07:52

Christopher over 4 years ago

Yes, these are ridiculous. But I heard a comedy bit about horoscopes and then I got to thinking how generic horoscopes are and how they could apply to damn near everyone. So I wanted to make them so off the wall they couldn't really apply to anyone.

If you want me to leave Drablr now just give me the word ;)
Neville Hunt over 4 years ago

No Christopher. Stick around please and continue to make us laugh!

Feeling sorry for beavers but I don’t think we have them round here, worried for baby hamsters, but the only tuna we have in my house is already very constrained... not very big but would be mighty uncomfortable down my trousers.
Christopher over 4 years ago

Thanks, guys. I really wasn't sure about this one, so I appreciate it.

Daily Horoscope (1/2)