shapeshifter avatar


John Kernel was unsure what to do with his life when he was young. He decided the only way he was going to get out of his hometown was to join the U.S. Army.

He began his military career as Private Kernel.

He endured the ribbing about his name, eventually becoming Corporal Kernel.

And on it went:

Sergeant Kernel...
Sergeant Major Kernel...
Lieutenant Kernel...
Captain Kernel...
Major Kernel...
Lieutenant Colonel Kernel...

After years of confusion he'd reached the ultimate bewildering rank:

Colonel Kernel...

He retired shortly after (but chuckled at the thought of staying in and becoming Major General Kernel).

4 comments add one below

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt almost 2 years ago

    Nice one Christopher. He was completely nuts! 😕

  • avatar

    Christopher almost 2 years ago

    Nice one, Neville. Although the "kernel" of this nutty idea came from someone mentioning a kernel of corn.

    And thanks. 😊

  • avatar

    Drew Martyn almost 2 years ago

    Awesome! I laughed out loud at the last line :)

  • avatar

    Christopher almost 2 years ago

    Thanks, Drew. It's weird how hearing someone say something as insignificant as a "kernel of corn" could send my brain off in that direction.

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