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Dick Hedd The Most Opinionated Man In The World

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My mother never wanted kids. I'm lucky she had me. I asked her once if I could have a brother or sister and she said, "I'd rather get a gynecological exam from Edward Scissorhands." When the neighborhood kids' baseball came over our fence, instead of throwing it back to them she threw a live hand grenade. On Halloween instead of giving candy, she would spray the trick-or-treaters with a fire extinguisher. But the joke's on her. I stuck her old ass in a rest home. Now and then I send her a postcard saying, "Wish you were here!"

2 comments add one below

  • avatar

    Ricky Moore over 7 years ago

    That was brilliant! In the end, what goes around comes around!

  • avatar

    Christopher over 7 years ago

    Thanks, Ricky and Aspen.

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