He Did It With Aplomb

Every local member of the Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks, lodge #1550, was present at the First Presbyterian Church in High Falls, Indiana to pay their last respects to member Herbert Davis, including his best friend Morty, who sat in the back with his head down.

The eulogy concluded with, "And everything he did, including his legendary trysts with the ladies, he did it with aplomb."

Morty couldn't believe his ears. He did it with a plum? he thought. That kinky bastard! He never told me that! Sex with fruit, huh? Well, get down with your bad self, Herbert!