"Wisdom Pearls" drabbles by Christopher
Wisdom Pearls (Part Three)
Wisdom Pearls
A rolling stone gathers no moss. But he does gather a buttload of money when he goes on tour.
You'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, but your best bet is to use a flyswatter.
The squeaky wheel gets the grease. And sometimes the squeaky wheel gets replaced.
Don't judge a book by its cover. Judge it by how goofy the author looks on the back.
The early bird catches the worm. The early husband catches his wife in bed with the mailman.
Don't put the cart before the horse. Better still, buy a damned car, you cheapskate!
Wisdom Pearls (Part Two)
Wisdom Pearls
No one loves you when you're down and out. Especially when you're "down" at the nudie bar and "out" of one dollar bills.
Never kick a man when he's down. Unless you find him in bed with your wife, then you can stomp the crap out of him.
Stupid is as stupid do.
Be yourself. Unless you're a complete ass-hat, in which case you might want to be someone else.
Kill with kindness... or a hacksaw, whichever is convenient.
Self-deprecating humor is when you make fun of yourself. Self-decapitating humor is when you laugh your head off.
Wisdom Pearls (Part One)
Wisdom Pearls
To be forewarned is to be forearmed. To be eight-armed is to be an octopus.
Be thankful for what you have. Unless you're a blind, deaf and dumb quadruple amputee falsely imprisoned. You can complain all you want.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but a naked photo of your boss could net you serious blackmail money.
Red sky in the morning: sailor's warning. Red sky at night: you're probably having an LSD flashback.
Live by the sword and you shall die by the sword. Live by the toxic waste dump and you shall die by radiation poisoning.
