"Shady Acres" drabbles by Christopher
Shady Acres Nightly News (3/3)
Shady Acres #3
Billy Ray: And the new tennis net arrived yesterday. However, the tennis court still hasn't been built, so if anyone needs a hammock for a very tall, skinny person see the management of Shady Acres! And now with your weather update here's Virginia Reynolds...
Virginia: Cold. We have poor circulation. It's always cold. Jasper...
Jasper: Finally...last night Milton Freeman won $67 dollars in a poker game. So, if Milton owes you money make sure you hit him up before he blows it all on arthritis cream and laxatives. That's it for the Shady Acres Nightly News...Good night.
Zelda: Good night.
Shady Acres Nightly News (2/3)
Shady Acres #2
Zelda: It appears a thief has been roaming the hallowed halls of Shady Acres. Several rooms have been burgled, and Genevieve O'Brien says her entire collection of fake jewelry, valued at well over 14 dollars, has been taken. A spokesperson for Shady Acres assures the residents that this thief will be caught and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the Shady Acres bylaws. Jasper...
Jasper: And now with a look at sports here's Billy Ray Barker. Billy Ray...
Billy Ray: Thanks, Jasper. Well, Saturday's badminton championship game has been postponed due to the fact that the shuttlecock has been misplaced...
Shady Acres Nightly News (1/3)
Shady Acres #1
"Now from the Shady Acres Retirement Home here's the Nightly News with your anchors Jasper Sanford and Zelda Bing..."
Zelda: Good evening, everyone, and here's the news for Wednesday. Hermione was spotted on a Walk of Shame early this morning, emerging from Henry's room wearing the same support hose she had on when entering his room last night. Shame, shame, Hermione! Jasper...
Jasper: Tragedy struck the east wing when Burt Peters, 95, was found dead in his bed early this morning. Foul play isn't suspected, but then again, we all know well what an unmitigated a-hole ol' Burt was.
