"Holiday sellout" drabbles by Neville Hunt

Having a moan

Holiday sellout #4

We book our holiday accommodation in Devon in advance. So in June 2019 we’d reserved our usual place for the same week in 2020, paying a deposit to the owners’ agents.

Then came Lockdown. Six weeks before June 2020, the agents debited us for the balance of the rental. So my wife told them in that case we would go to the flat in June as planned.

“You can’t; it’s against the law!”

“Then why have you taken our money?”

”It’s in the contract!”

So we transferred to June 2021, but the price was doubled!

To my mind, that’s theft!

Beating retreat

Holiday sellout #3

It’s a gamble travelling to South Devon in the Southwest (the bit just before the long pointy bit that juts into the east Atlantic). For us it’s usually the ancient A303 until we approach the horrific traffic jams passing the even ancienter Stonehenge. These we dodge by ducking north through army country, where we have to dodge the tanks.

Our journey there took a modest 5.5 hours. Not bad for us! Our return journey took around 10 hours, avoiding traffic jams. But my navigator took us through lovely places we’d never seen before.

We’re not beaten by the beaten track.

Crabby.... but maybe not

Holiday sellout #2

Our last day. The day we were returning home from our favourite destination in the Southwest. Somewhere we’d holidayed every year for 40 years. Salcombe, as far south as you can get in Devonshire. Second home heaven for millionaires... and expensive rental for us! But of course, very beautiful.

The wealthy aside, Salcombe is famous for its crabs. We would choose a live crab, they would cook it and we would take it home, as usual, as a tasty Salcombe memento.

But what’s this? No more crabs by 10am? All sent to China?

First no fish, then no crabs! Unbebloodylievable!

Fishy, or maybe not

Holiday sellout #1

Bank Holiday Monday in the seaside resort. Families were milling around everywhere. Still partly in lockdown, takeaway food was the order of the day for almost everyone. Come 6pm, the queues were forming fast. Two main takeaway choices it seemed, pizzas or fish and chips.

We rarely have fish and chips, the English heritage choice, so that’s what it would be. I stood in line planning my order. Would it be cod, or plaice, or haddock with our chips?

Then the server announced “No more fish!” Fish and chips with no fish?Extraordinary! It was like a brothel with no hookers!