"Enemies" drabbles by Neville Hunt

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Rough cut

Enemies #6

Now this might seem indelicate
To some, indeed, revolting
But I’ve never known a slimy slug
Recover from a salting.

Some folk say it’s cruel
Others say a crime
But I say it’s effective
Dissolving them to slime.

But last week in our garden
I watched the beasts attack
Our hostas and delphiniums
Time I must fight back.

I struck upon a strategy
As salting was too easy
And rendered soil more acidy
(And made my wife quite queasy!)

With secateurs aready
To war! Lead on Macduff!
Well equipped, I snipped and snipped
While the slugs they cut up rough.

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Bite night

Enemies #5

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I hate that nightly sound
The moment that the light’s out
When silence should abound.

The chance of sleeping soundly
Against all odds I fear
Cannot lay my head down
With that mosquito here.

It wants to suck my blood out
The wretched little titch
And in return then all I get’s
A painful throbbing itch.

I hear my nightly enemy
Afore I feel its bite
If sleep I will, I will regret
Come dawn’s insistent light.

I cannot rest without a care
I cannot sleep at all
Until I see its stolen blood
A stain upon my wall.

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What’s wat?

Enemies #4

In and out and all about
My enemies I spy
But none there is more fearful foe
Than the not so humble fly.

Wasps can sometimes sting you
But succumb to my electric racket
A fly can be sprayed to lunacy
But I prefer to whack it.

Flies are pretty canny
They seem to know what’s what
So when you go to whack them
They somehow dodge the swat.

Some say I’ve a mania
Unhealthy levels of hate
But think what flies have fed on
Before sitting on my plate.

(People say
flies help decay
But I answer back
THWACK!)

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Everyone’s enemy

Enemies #3

Another of my enemies
When outside drinking ale
Or dining there al fresco
Has a sting right in its tail.

It smells what’s on the table
Before it’s even there
And buzzes round like fury
Here, there and everywhere.

Hoppy beer and fizzy drinks
Adult tastes and minors’
And meat’s a treat and soya too
For our unwelcome diners.

Darting whence and thither and thence
Then panic does ensue
Scarce a diner unaffected
In the wake of the hullabaloo.

But my electric ‘tennis racket’
Is working rather well
As one by one I send them all
Off to insect hell!

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Enemy too

Enemies #2

I am the enemy
As they pace around our plot
Where friends are always welcome
But felines are not.

When it comes to ownership
We have different points of view
Seems that here they know no fear
And delight in showing it too!

One artful little dodger
With arrogance writ large
Fails to fully understand
That round here I’m in charge.

Shouting “shooo!” is not enough
Whilst a hosepipe has more power
But like an Aussie boomerang
They’ll return within the hour.

They’re skulking in the undergrowth
Daring me with a stare
I am their enemy
But they don’t care!

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Enemy

Enemies #1

I am the enemy.
As they sit upon our fence
Billing here and cooing there
Feigning innocence.

Handsome maybe
In their verminous fat way
Pumping out their boring call
Half the flipping day.

Repeating to each other
Coo-coooo-coo-coooo!
Other birds bring brilliance
Why can’t these ones too?

There upon the roofline
Scaring other birds
Sitting on our garden chairs
Laying monstrous turds.

One big fella
Much bigger than the rest
Makes me think of dinner
Pan-fried pigeon breast.

Hurling stones at every one
Here, there, everywhere
I am their enemy
But they don’t seem to care.