"Despicable Missy" drabbles by Frenchie

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Missy strikes back ... (Missy 16)

Despicable Missy #16

''Ekatarina, I waitin' for ya tonight. You mama, she know. You mama, she fine womin.''

On that, he gave me one last disgusting lecherous look.


Desperate times meant desperate measures.

I ran to the Carnival shop.

4:00am, I sashayed into Igor's office. I pouted seductively to put him in the mood and kept plying him with cheap vodka and joints. When he passed out, I emptied one pack of itching powder down his crotch and, I turning him over I poured the other where the sun doesn't shine.

I raided his safe, made a quick exit. Jobless but safe.

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Danger for Missy ... (Missy 15)

Despicable Missy #15

Mama found out where I worked. Always practical, as soon as she realised punters were shoving plenty £50 notes in my thong, she applied for a job there.
OK, she still looked hottish but seriously, my mum? exotic dancer?

Worse, Igor, the owner, gave it to her (the job, of course, what did you think?).

And Igor didn't care about sexual harassment laws either. Nope, Igor was a law onto himself and he liked young fresh flesh. Like mine.

I could sense danger. Especially when one night, he casually requested I came to his office to discuss my contract. Puke!

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Missy discovers the world...

Despicable Missy #14

Alas, with freedom came boredom. I preferred when Mama was horrible. At least, I existed.
I started to mix with what she would have called a bad crowd. You know, experimenting life, booze, smoke...
I got a job in a smokey joint not far from home. Of course, I had to pretend I was eighteen and speak with a Russian accent. At first, I only waited at the tables, dressed in a catwoman costume but soon, I was promoted to Exotic dancer. I was Ekatarina from St Petersburg. I was very popular. Amazing how many men want a Russian wife.

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Free Missy...

Despicable Missy #13

For the next few months, I barely saw Mama. She was always out, sometimes not coming back at night. I don't know where she went but I didn't mind. I threw the stupid clothes she had bought. Funnily enough, she didn't say anything. In fact, she now wanted me to look drab, wear no make up. She even brought glasses to hide my green eyes (my father's eyes).
On the rare occasions we were together, she would tell me that if one wanted a job done, then one had to do it.
Fine by me. I was free at last.

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Mama's middle age crisis... Missy walks home

Despicable Missy #12

I'd never seen Mama so generous. I gave her a suspicious look but she was too busy fluttering her fake eyelashes at her admirer.
It was embarrassing to see Mama behave in such an undignified manner.
I took off my heels, what a relief, walked barefoot out of the foyer, giving the middle finger to the rather stuffy Maître de something (Mama taught me the names and ranks of people working in high class places but I was not interested).
I looked back to see Mama sat on the gentleman's lap.
I decided to save the £10 and walk home.

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A bizarre twist... Missy’s narrow escape.

Despicable Missy #11

“Mama, I want to go home.”
“Shut up!”
My eyes prickled. I loved Mama. I couldn’t understand why she still hated me so much. Father was ancient history.
A handsome gentleman stopped by our table.
“Two lovely ladies. Would you mind if I join you? I am visiting town and don’t know anyone.”
He looked unsure but Mama beamed at him.
“Of course, no! My daughter, Missy.”
“Enchanté, Mademoiselle.”
He kissed my hand but he had only eyes for Mama. She realised it too.
“Missy, you are tired, take a cab home,” she said, flushing a tenner from her purse.

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Petits fours and afternoon tea. Missy’s debuts

Despicable Missy #10

Mama stormed into my room, clothes in hand.
“Get dressed! We’re going out.”
I closed my book. My lips quivered.
“I am not wearing these, Mama. I am sixteen, not thirty.”
“I am your mother, do as I say, stupid girl.”
Mama had booked a cab to take us to the Claridges.
I was in awe when I sashayed into the restaurant.
“Stop fidgeting...walk straight...smile.”
The service was superb. I would have loved it if not for Mama instructing me to look and smile at every single man.
It slowly dawned on me Mama was turning into my pimp.

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Seduction or Tartiness? Missy’s distress.

Despicable Missy #9

Exasperated, Mama decided to take action.
I spent hours walking on stilettos, a book balanced on my head. If the book fell, she’d whack my bum with her wooden stirring spoon. Ouch!
She bought revealing dresses I hated. I wanted jeans and cropped tops. Mama thought them vulgar.
“To catch a bee, Missy, you need to look like an expensive candy.”
Honestly, I looked more like a tart than a candy. I prayed none of my friends would see me.
Mama was right. I was a waste of space, unworthy of her.
My eyes were puffy from crying so much.

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An important task for Missy

Despicable Missy #8

Mama, you see, can be a little overpowering. I think she never loved me as a mother should. I think she resented I look so much like Father.
When I turned sixteen, she entrusted me with a simple task: find an elderly gentleman with money, that we become well provided for.
After all, she would muse quite reasonably, it was only fair that I should help pay my way, as Father never did. For a little bimbo like me, she would add, it shouldn’t be too difficult to ensnare a Sugar Daddy.
But even with that, I was a disappointment.

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It is all in the genes... Missy's lineage

Despicable Missy #7

She didn’t see me. I can breathe.
Mama has always told me to keep away from boys with no prospects. My father, she would repeat every day to whom would listen, was a good for nothing lazy bum and though I had inherited his good looks, I also inherited his stupidity.
As a child, I tried hard to please her to make up for Father’s shortcomings. You see, he left us for Dorothy, the widow down the road. I can’t say I blamed him, I can still hear her singing “Stand by your Man,” looking at him with adoring eyes.

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Strange turn of events... Missy's confusion

Despicable Missy #6

I am confused. Nothing new as my brain can’t multitask. Hiding behind my tree, spying on Reginald, I saw Mama coming out of the bank, all made up (it looked like she had some Botox done) and smiling up to him. Strange. I didn’t realise they knew each other.
Know other, indeed, they did. Reginald took Mama’s hands into his, kissed her on the lips. I cringed, her lips definitely looked pumped up, like Daisy Duck’s distant relation. For a brief instant, Mama turned her face towards me and I squashed myself against the trunk, hoping she wouldn’t spot me.

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4 years ago...Missy's Plan B (part 2)

Despicable Missy #5

The Butler did it. In my case, it couldn't be truer.
Reginald, the Earl's butler was behind it all, the blackmail and the accident.
The scheming rat! He used me.
When the first pictures arrived, I turned to him and for a fee, he promised to deal with the 'problem'.
The Earl was very open minded and very naughty (he was always so excitable every time I wore a nurse uniform) but he might not have appreciated pictures of me pole dancing, surrounded by Chippendales look-alike and with only a tiny weeny wine leaf to cover my modesty, .

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4 years ago... Missy's Plan B (part 1)

Despicable Missy #4

Alas...Most won't remember the delightful young bride of an elderly earl who died under suspicious circumstances.
''Guilty Gold digger'', people called me. Me? Certainly not! I wouldn't dig anything for fear of breaking my beautifully manicured nails.
But really, his death foiled my plans. The Earl had not yet re-written his will in my favour.
I never intended for the old dear to meet with such an untimely demise. I only wanted him to become concussed and confused as to not be able to make head or tail of the infamous blackmail pictures. I don't think it was unreasonable.

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Missy goes Incognito...

Despicable Missy #3

Four years, I waited four years for my revenge!
Today is THE day. No one remembers the Earl's young widow who vanished shortly after the reading of the will. I changed my hair, had a bit of surgery to alter my face and my body and changed my name by deed poll. It took the last of my resources, but I am finally ready.
Hidden behind a tree on the late Earl's estate, I spy the butler returning from town. That weasel! Double crosser, wretched low life weasel.
But maybe, I should tell you what happened after the Earl's death...

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The ''Accident'' - (Despicable Missy Part 2)

Despicable Missy #2

Being blackmailed isn't an enjoyable situation.
My decision is made. The Earl is an old dear who thinks his young wife is a paragon of virtue, not the little gold digger people say I am.
I ask him if he would like to spend the morning by the lake. The path is a steep slope. I lose my footing and the Earl's wheelchair goes down racing towards the lake. My cries of panic alert the butler who comes back to me, grim-faced and distraught.
'My Lady, the Earl is dead,' he sobs pathetically.
I faint.
Time for plan B.

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A tricky dilemma (Despicable Missy Part 1)

Despicable Missy #1

The butler brought the morning post with the breakfast tray.
I spotted straight away the nondescript brown envelope. I opened it and dread washed over me. The little note said:
'Pay up or the old man gets these.'
'These' being pictures of a younger me in various, most indelicate situations.
Having married an elderly Earl, I'm now a pillar of respectability.
He raised his eyes from his newspaper, concerned at my palor.
Maybe I should just throw myself at his feet, sobbing I was young and naive and needed the money?
Or I could just think of something really Machiavellian.