"A Day In The Life" drabbles by Christopher

Wile E. Coyote (5/5)

A Day In The Life #5

The heat is unbearable, and I'm so malnourished the slightest breeze can lift me into the air. What have I been doing with my life? Obsessed with a bird that has less meat on him than a skeleton suffering from anorexia? And if I had all the money I've wasted with ACME over the years I could've bought the island of Tahiti!

Well, I've had enough! I shall pack my bags and.....Wait! Was that a "beep beep" I just heard? There he is, going past my window!

Well, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll give this one more try!

Wile E. Coyote (4/5)

A Day In The Life #4

I once spent 17 hours in a pit with a hungry lion, and believe you me there aren't many places in a pit to hide from a hungry lion! And I can't tell you the frustration of having your own death ray firing at you, running to and fro like some sort of uncivilized caveman while having most of your hair singed off. Oh, a little tip: save your money. ACME's Instant Hair Regrowth Formula does not work!

Now, you might be asking yourself, "Why does he stay there?"

Actually, that's a very good question. Why do I stay here?

Wile E. Coyote (3/5)

A Day In The Life #3

In the afternoon you can find me painting a tunnel onto the side of a mountain, or perched precariously on the edge of a cliff waiting to release an anvil. In general, just deploying some sort of implement of death upon which an unsuspecting road runner will stumble. The only trouble is he never seems to get caught in the trap. He just blows right over it, beep-beeping like some truck driver with road rage, and never triggers it. Then I go out to check the device and the blasted thing traps me! Caught in my own frigging trap!

Wile E. Coyote (2/5)

A Day In The Life #2

I usually spend the morning unpacking the latest road runner-catching apparatus Fedexed from ACME. I do a lot of business with ACME, although I can't say I've been 100% satisfied with their products. Most of them have backfired on me, and a few have caused serious bodily injury to me, while that cad of a road runner speeds off without so much as a scratch. If I were really the genius I claim to be I'd buy a sawed-off shotgun and blow the little bugger's head off. But then there wouldn't be much sport in that, would there?

Wile E. Coyote (1/5)

A Day In The Life #1

This is the desert, arid and hot. Not much happens here, except the occasional tumbleweed blowing past, on its way to another part of the desert, just as arid and just as hot. The national pastime here is watching the buzzards circling overhead, waiting for your demise. It's an absolute Nirvana if your idea of paradise is rocks and sand. Not much grows here, except the odd cactus, or a bit of scrub brush that the extreme heat hasn't yet murdered. It's a dead place, filled with dead and dying things.

I work here.

Coyote's the name. Wile E. Coyote...