"Tiki Moon" drabbles by Christopher

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Jake Randolph in "Tiki Moon" Pt. 31

Tiki Moon #31

"Spill it, Randolph!" Harrigan barked in a way I haven't heard him speak since our Army days.

I barked back, "Jim, if I knew anything about this asshole would I be here asking you?"

"I want to know from whose lips you heard that name," Harrigan said in a softer cadence, still looking at me in the mirror. How he was keeping the car on the road was a mystery to me.

"I can't tell you that."

He knew I had to have gotten it from a client, but I couldn't involve the cops in this yet.

Not even Harrigan...

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Jake Randolph in "Tiki Moon" Pt. 30

Tiki Moon #30

Harrigan and Kip looked at each other for a moment and then Harrigan looked at me in the rear view mirror.

"What do you know about Mr. Saint?" he asked in a tone I didn't particularly care for.

"I just want to know who he is," I said, which was true.

"How did you come across that name?" Kip asked.

"I just heard it in passing. I know all of the hired guns in the L.A. area, either directly or by reputation and I've never heard of this one. Helps to be aware of these things in my business, y'know?"

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Jake Randolph in "Tiki Moon" Pt. 29

Tiki Moon #29

"Do I really need a reason to come visit my oldest and dearest friend?" I asked as I grinned at Kip.

"No," Harrigan said as he opened the driver's side door of his car, "but that never stopped you before."

"I just need to ask a coupla questions," I said truthfully.

Harrigan grunted. "Get in the backseat, Randolph."

Kip slid into the passenger's side and I got in the backseat behind him.

"Okay," Harrigan said, pulling out into the substantial mid-day traffic, "what are these burning questions, Randolph?"

"Have you ever heard of a hit man called Mr. Saint?"

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Jake Randolph in "Tiki Moon" Pt. 28

Tiki Moon #28

Harrigan slammed the phone down and spoke to Kip, not even looking at me.

"I've got the address, Wilson. Let's roll," Harrigan said as he got out of his seat.

I cleared my throat loud enough for the boys in the next precinct to hear it. Harrigan turned back, as he started for the door.

"Randolph, don't you ever get tired of harassing me?"

"Nope, I get a kick out of it every time," I said as I tried to match his pace.

Kip laughed as the three of us walked out into the sunlight.

"What is it now, Randolph?"

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Jake Randolph in "Tiki Moon" Pt. 27

Tiki Moon #27

Harrigan was at his desk, talking on the phone and writing something down. His new partner, Kip Wilson, was sitting across from him. Harrigan's last partner, Cal Striker, had recently been exposed as being on the take and almost killed Harrigan and me. So, Harrigan sent Striker to his eternal reward. At least it saved the city of Los Angeles an extra pension.

Kip actually liked me, which Striker didn't. When he saw me he rose from his desk and put his hand out.

"Hey, Jake! How's it going?" he said, smiling.

"Peachy," I said as I shook his hand...

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Jake Randolph in "Tiki Moon" Pt. 26

Tiki Moon #26

Jim Harrigan was a detective with the L.A.P.D. He was also one of the main reasons I got through the war without getting killed or spending it in the stockade. It wasn't all one-way, though. I did my fair share of saving his hide, too. We had a special bond. Although you wouldn't know it to hear us talk. We bust each other's chops, but there's no one on the planet I trust more.

I went down to Harrigan's precinct to see if he was in. I was hoping he had information about Mr. Saint.

Although I was dubious...

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Jake Randolph in "Tiki Moon" Pt. 25

Tiki Moon #25

I was trying to wrap my head around this situation. I knew I couldn't make contact with Ms. Newstead in L.A., there'd be too much of a chance of Morty finding out about it. I figured the best bet was to do it on the cruise ship. Getting a free trip to the Orient was just a bonus.

Two things puzzled me, though. One: Who was the woman that called my office? And two: Who was Mr. Saint?

I couldn't really do much about finding out who the chickie was. But I might have some help in identifying Mr. Saint...

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Jake Randolph in "Tiki Moon" Pt. 24

Tiki Moon #24

"Why can't I come back here?" he protested.

I rose up from the table, "What did I say about questioning me, Mr. Alexander?"

He nodded. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he said in rapid succession. "Two minutes after you leave and don't come back. Understood."

I pocketed the envelope of cash and walked out the door. I waited in my car in the parking lot to see if he followed my instructions. Two minutes later, he walked out and got in the same car I saw him driving into his mansion with.

How do I get into these things?

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Jake Randolph in "Tiki Moon" Pt. 23

Tiki Moon #23

"We will have no further contact until the job is done. One more thing: do you have a photograph of your wife?"

He pulled his wallet from his jacket pocket and retrieved a photo. He passed it over to me.

"That was taken last year," he said.

She was a beautiful lady; long dark hair and a look in her eye that said she could hold her own with any man on Earth. I was looking forward to this.

"You'll leave this club two minutes after I do and do not return until after you hear from me. Got that?"

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Jake Randolph in "Tiki Moon" Pt. 22

Tiki Moon #22

"Here's how this is going to play out, Mr. Alexander. You will follow my every instruction without fail and without question. Do you understand?"

He nodded. There was a sparkle in his eyes that wasn't there when I arrived. I guess the prospect of becoming a widower was agreeing with the little bastard.

"What travel agency is your wife using?" I asked, lighting a cigarette.

"Pacifica Cruise Lines," he said.

"Have a ticket waiting for me there in the name of Jacob Randall. I'll contact you after the job to arrange a meeting to receive the balance of my payment."

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Jake Randolph in "Tiki Moon" Pt. 21

Tiki Moon #21

I had some fast thinking to do. I couldn't tell him of the mix-up and risk him finding the real Mr. Saint and moving forward with his plan. I also had to get Morty out of the Tiki Moon and keep him out before Mr. Saint actually showed up. I could work out the details later of how I was going to resolve this.

He pulled an envelope out of his jacket, laying it on the table.

"The down payment. $5,000.00. You get the remaining $20,000.00 after the job is finished."

I reached across the table for the envelope...

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Jake Randolph in "Tiki Moon" Pt. 20

Tiki Moon #20

This didn't make sense. His secretary called me at my office to set this up. She knew I was a detective. Most detectives are a little shady, but not many double as hit men.

"Will you help me, Mr. Saint?" he asked with great anticipation.

So, he apparently didn't know I was Jake Randolph.

"One question, Mr. Alexander. Do you have a secretary?"

He shook his head, "Of course not. I don't even have a job. Why would I have a secretary?"

So whoever the chickie was that called me at my office set me up. The question was why?

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Jake Randolph in "Tiki Moon" Pt. 19

Tiki Moon #19

"Anyway," he said, "divorce is out of the question. I won't get a penny."

Wait, what? Then what the hell did he want from me?

"She's going on a cruise to the Orient soon. And that's where you come in."

I was getting more confused by the second.

"It can be done out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. People fall overboard sometimes and are never seen again. Or there are other ways. It really doesn't matter to me as long as it's final."

I was getting the distinct impression that this asshole thought I was a hit man...

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Jake Randolph in "Tiki Moon" Pt. 18

Tiki Moon #18

He carried on, "She said she wouldn't take a common name like mine when hers was established and well-respected. She actually had the nerve to suggest I change my last name to hers."

I tried to tread lightly here. "Meaning no disrespect, Mr. Alexander, but what the hell did she marry you for?"

"Beats me," he said. "I think she was lonely. And she needed an emotional punching bag."

I continued the pussyfooting, "And...I'm assuming you married her because she was well-off."

He grinned, "Exactly. But all the money in the world isn't worth what I'm going through."

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Jake Randolph in "Tiki Moon" Pt. 17

Tiki Moon #17

I hate divorce cases. They are the lowest ebb. But, I like putting food in my belly, and there wasn't anything else on the horizon. So, I would let my pride slide slowly down my throat and take the case.

"Does Mrs. Alexander know how you feel?" I asked.

He shook his head. "She's not Mrs. Alexander. She kept her maiden name, Newstead. Y'know, the Boston Newsteads? Old money."

I'd heard of them. Heirs of some shipping magnate that migrated from England back when ships were still powered by sails.

At least maybe I'd get a decent paycheck outta this...

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Jake Randolph in "Tiki Moon" Pt. 16

Tiki Moon #16

I was getting the picture now. He married her because she was rich. She stayed rich, but all the money in the world couldn't make her stay 36.

He continued. "It was okay the first few years, even though she always treated me like a second-class citizen. But as the years went on, she began belittling me at cocktail parties in front of all her stupid rich friends, who would laugh at me incessantly. Do you know what that feels like?"

I shook my head, "No, I can't say I do."

"Well, I've had enough. More than enough, actually."

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Jake Randolph in "Tiki Moon" Pt. 15

Tiki Moon #15

So, Mort Alexander lived in a Tudor mansion in the heart of Beverly Hills. This oughta be good.

I approached the booth and he started to get up. I waved him off and sat down across from him.

"Mort Alexander?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Okay, Mr. Alexander. What's it all about?"

He exhaled, softly saying, "Where do I even begin?"

"The beginning is always the best place, Mr. Alexander."

Another nod.

"I married my wife Deborah when I was nineteen and she was 36. I'm now 28 and she's 45. And I don't like being married to an old woman."

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Jake Randolph in "Tiki Moon" Pt. 14

Tiki Moon #14

The two giant mahogany Tiki heads that stood outside the front doors glared angrily at you as you entered the club.

"Maybe I'll bring you two a couple of beers," I said as I walked inside.

I was anxious to get a glimpse of Mort Alexander and see if it was any of the schmucks I'd spent the afternoon tracking down. The chickie on the phone had said he'd be in a booth in the back right corner of the club and would be wearing a red carnation on his lapel.

I took a look. The dude from Beverly Hills...

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Jake Randolph in "Tiki Moon" Pt. 13

Tiki Moon #13

The Tiki Moon was a Polynesian-inspired restaurant and nightclub on the pier at Laguna Beach. It was your own little taste of Hawaiian paradise right on the West Coast. The lovely waitresses wore grass skirts and made you wish you'd brought your lawn mower. The front side of the restaurant was open to the end of the pier, so you could watch the sun being drowned by the Pacific Ocean. I had been here before entertaining a few lady friends of mine. Well, more than a few, actually.

I pulled into the parking lot and headed for the pier...

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Jake Randolph in "Tiki Moon" Pt. 12

Tiki Moon #12

I couldn't wait any longer so I drove off, grabbed a couple of chili dogs at Leo's Diner and then headed home. I quickly scarfed down the canines and then went to the bathroom and shaved. I took a fast shower and then put on some black slacks with a white pullover sweater. I wasn't wearing a jacket so I couldn't wear my shoulder holster. I'd have to leave my piece in the glove compartment of the car. I wasn't expecting any trouble.

But if my history is anything to go by, that's the time when I usually get trouble...