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Everyone'd said taking two toddlers away was asking for trouble. Clara drags her feet providing a running commentary of things making her sad.
The sun in her eyes. Her knees completely hurt. Why was Mummy not here?

“I’m the actual winner of the world” from Jakey ahead. Arms outstretched like a plane.

“Shall I carry you?” I reach backwards. Not wanting to turn, see her mother in miniature.

“No!” With a pout you could hear. She wants to be asleep. Not here. In bed back home. “When’s Mummy coming back?”

She wasn’t.
But I just couldn’t say those words today.

9 comments add one below

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt over 2 years ago

    Oh so sad. Hadn't realised it was a widower speaking. That makes the mother in miniature reference really desperate. Brought tears to my eyes through self-referencing the situation. Well done, Lisa.

  • avatar

    Lisa Williams over 2 years ago

    Oh goodness sorry! Written from a picture prompt exercise- hadn't noticed until now they always seem to make me dwell on sad subjects. Thank you Nev and huge hugs X

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt over 2 years ago

    You're welcome, Lisa. Don't worry, bringing tears to my eyes shows the power of your drabble. Must try the picture prompt technique for drabbles as it's one of the techniques I have been recommending to people in my writers' group as some of them claim to be short of inspiration. I bet they're not really, but aren't looking wide enough!

  • avatar

    Lisa Williams over 2 years ago

    Ah- lot of prompt exercises online. Think I prefer word prompts. I've got a self imposed ban on any new writing until have finished editing novel (Have discovered abhorrence for editing. But nearly there!) and am finding opposite- Inspiration ruddy everywhere xx

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt over 2 years ago

    Make sure you let me know when and where your novel will be available. I will try to be your first customer!

  • avatar

    Drew Martyn over 2 years ago

    Superbly dark drabble Lisa. I love the way you use Jakey as a counterpoint to Clara and the whole situation, bravo!

  • avatar

    Lisa Williams over 2 years ago

    Oh! Thank you Nev- will upload to Wattpad initially as seems good way to get feedback. And hopefully in the next couple of days.

    Thank you Drew X

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt over 2 years ago

    Wattpad new to me, Lisa. Are there any copyright issues with it? i.e. assume you don't give away any rights/retain full rights after uploading to the site?

  • avatar

    Lisa Williams over 2 years ago

    Honestly? Am quite unaware of legalities. There's a drop down box each time you upload something. I click 'all rights reserved' ? X

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