Achy Breaky Tart

"Mom, when we go to the U.K. can I go see Miley Cyrus in concert?"
"Sure."
"Thanks!"
"And you'd like to see her because?"
"Everybody loves to watch a train wreck, Mom."
"Remind me again, what's she famous for?"
"Um, sticking her tongue out, she doesn't have any other discernible talent."
"So she's like a female version of Justin Bieber?"
"Yeah, but Miley's got bigger balls than Justin."
"Sweet. She's not related to Billy Ray, is she?"
"He's her father."
"Ah, so that's why she's a screw up."
"Do celebrities 'ever' have normal kids, Mom?"
"Nope, they're both mutually exclusive."