sarahoakes32 avatar

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Too Quiet. There it is again. Two words, that have followed me since childhood. I sigh, heart sinking. When will my words be enough?

I try. Odin knows I do. I try talking louder, faster. But I stumble, stammering on syllables. And by the time I have struggled over sentences in my mind, it is too late.

It's not that I don't talk. I can be talkative. Make room for my words, and you will see I am not quiet. Ask me about something I love, and you will hear my words louder than a storm.

I am not quiet.

12 comments add one below

  • avatar

    VerityAlways over 2 years ago

    Rightly told, you stole my thoughts. I've been baptized as an Introvert. Sarah (if this is about you), your drabbles reflect your choice of words, love for subjects which are very accurate and powerful, Just ignore the noise of naysayers.

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    Neville Hunt over 2 years ago

    Well Sarah, you are certainly talking in your drabbles! If it’s you that’s too quiet, then you might find that the reason others might accuse you thus is possibly that your silences might unnerve those who maybe are too thoughtless in their speech. My wife is one such quiet person who unwittingly and certainly unwillingly intimidates more garrulous and thoughtless others.

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    Sarah Oakes over 2 years ago

    Thanks for your kind comments. I was told in a meeting yesterday that I was too Quiet and it frustrated me as its something I've always struggled with, but never given any advice to improve on. I think it's more sometimes that they intimidate me and i get scared of speaking, knowing I will usually be talked over anyway. I'm more of a listener than a speaker, and I struggle with words sometimes.

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt over 2 years ago

    Years ago, Sarah, I was too quiet and self-effacing, struggling for the right word(s)... and intimidated by others more garrulous, but as my own self confidence grew, then so did my ability to take the risk and it was amazing how intimidating I became myself! These days I always have something to say in meetings(!)... and people listen. Maybe you could give it time, but maybe just speak and speak over any interruptions... and you’ll be surprised how people will listen! (And if you should ever want interview tips, then let me know as I have mastered these too (he said with no modesty at all!😁) )

  • avatar

    Sarah Oakes over 2 years ago

    That is all very well said and done. Again , confidence is another thing I struggle with, and never given advice to actually improve on this apart from to have some so I end up stuck in a frustarted loop. I thought I had got better lately, but obviously there's more to be done. Confidence and words are two things I've never been good at, and I don't think I will ever be

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt over 2 years ago

    ..and that’s what I thought! Confidence comes with practice and jumping over small hurdles. As you might note in the second of my ‘The Interview’ drabbles I’ve just written and posted, by forcing yourself into situations that maybe scare you... volunteering to speak, to make presentations, to make speeches you’ll be amazed how the confidence burgeons... practice is the key, and a fair bit of bravado. I have trained literally thousands of young adults to give sparkling presentations, to hold their own in arguments and by so doing, start to believe in themselves. It really can be done!

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt over 2 years ago

    .....and if you can’t find the right word, find a different way of saying it.... maybe telling a bit of a story. You speak very well in your drabbles....!

  • avatar

    VerityAlways over 2 years ago

    Thank you Neville, this is great advice!

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt over 2 years ago

    Thanks for saying so, Verity. I am living proof of someone who was extremely introverted, self-effacing and lacking in self confidence. But if I said that to anyone that knows me now.... and the thousands of university graduates I’ve trained, they would laugh me off the stage (which I love getting on!)

  • avatar

    Sarah Oakes over 2 years ago

    I agree it is good advice and the story technique
    does work with interviews. I'm a lot better at written words than spoken words. I feel like I have practiced, and tried, and done all those things a thousand times, but nothing seems to work still struggling in meetings this week.

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt over 2 years ago

    That’s OK, but I think you have to be prepared to scare yourself a little and take the plunge. People don’t want you to make an ass of yourself.. that’s too embarrassing for them (particularly if they’re English!). If you speak up (even if scared stiff) others will probably encourage you.

    ............./

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt over 2 years ago

    ....... Someone said you need to scare yourself every day and I like that practice and try to do so myself. It puts everything into a positive perspective. My elder son was in the CCF at school and he parachuted with the RAF one day. Jumping out of an aeroplane thousands of feet high, solo, scared the hell out of him. But ever since, he has said that after that experience, nothing could scare him as much! He’s quite quiet too, but now he has lots of self confidence and little self-doubt.

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