Education my Arse

I once saw a kid get his dick out in class and start pumping away, all the while singing ‘Abide with Me’. Fortunately they took him away before the money shot and we never saw him again. After all, that’s no place to be singing hymns, in the middle of English.

Maybe he was making a metaphorical point: schools don’t just manufacture wankers by the bucketload. They’re full of wankers to begin with.

Take all the local twats, eejits, bampots and scroats and dump them in one state secondary, then pray everything will work out.

Welcome to Hawick High School!