The Monster in the Backyard

James Polliver, at 7 yrs old, never had a puppy, being allergic. So when he found the monster in his backyard, naturally he wanted to keep it. The shambling, slathering beast probably needed a bath, but James was pretty sure he wasn't allergic.

Looking up at it, "Mommy's cooking dinner. You behave and be quiet. Mommy'll probably have to wait for daddy to get home to decide."

Leading it inside, where he introduced it to mommy, who took one look at the huge prodigious thing between the monster's legs and declared James could keep the monster without waiting for daddy.