How Not to Borrow Your Neighbor's Lawnmower

Do not ask for permission by punching your neighbor in the face. That is rude.

While asking him, do not methodically squash the bugs in his yard, because that’s inefficient.

Never climb onto the hood of his car and recline diva-style either, or else he might be distracted by your wiles and forget about the lawnmower.

If he refuses to lend the mower, do not set him on fire. Even if he does give you the mower, you may not set him on fire. Never set your neighbor on fire, unless he borrows your lawnmower and won’t return it.