The Greatest American Invention of the 1950s

Bread tags were invented by Floyd G. Paxton in 1952. They’re the little plastic tab that’s clipped onto a bag of bread to keep it from going stale too soon.

I collect them and sell them as guitar picks. Or sometimes, I fashion them into fashion accessories. Or market them as fishing lures. Or tell people they’re triggers for IEDs.

At last, I’ve sold enough bread tags to buy myself a guitar! Three summers’ worth of entrepreneurship has paid off.

Grandma’s mad that all her bread goes stale after I visit, but she likes it when I play for her.