The Tea Salesman

First we collect cardboard from curbsides. After blending it into a wet pulp, we fill up little cotton baggies and slap on a dangling label: “All-Natural Tea.”

Health-savvy shoppers buy it by the pack and rave about the difference they see in their congestion, their digestion, their constipation and lacerations, et cetera. “It flushed out my system, and I’ve never felt fresher!” “I drink it twice a day, and it’s changed my life!” “You can really taste all the tannins at work!”

It makes an easy penny, and who really gets hurt? Not the environment. Possibly the kidneys.