A Can of Water

I can't say enough good about switching from bottled water to canned.

Really, using cans for water is ingenious. They're more readily recyclable than bottles. Plus, due to the heft, a can follows a clearer trajectory through the air, and makes a much more satisfying crack when it hits a bastard lawyer in the face. Perforating the circumference on top ensures that he’ll be soaked shortly after impact. Not only will it leave a nasty bruise, but it may also disfigure his stupidly roguish face!

“Hey!” I shouted from the second floor. “That’s what you get for stealing my husband!”