Hood's Monologue

This big kid always made fun of my freckles, and he started roughing up other kids too, so one day I challenged him to a duel.

(What? We had just learned about duels in history.)

We met outside after lunch, fingers armed with rubber bands. What he didn’t know about, besides my perfect aim and speed, was that I was packing extra bands. In the time it took him to fire one, I'd shot him in the eye, the cheek, and the neck. He got sent to the emergency room.