Klepto's Girl

I had the face and stature of some forever-young imp, but Jenny liked me anyway. Said she liked that even though I sounded like a country boy, I talked fast. The only word I ever stretched out was her name, “Jenny," like some fast-talking Forrest Gump.

Her hooker name was “Candy Apple” ‘cuz of her flaming hair, but I never called her that. She didn’t like it. Hated her job. We were both high school dropouts. Screw-ups.

I always said “I’d do anything for you” and she’d say “Then marry me.” And oh, I wish I had.