Execution

A performance of Beethoven’s only opera Fidelio. Leonore, a cross-dresser (yes, really!) calls herself Fidelio. S/he secures a job as jailer to get her incarcerated husband Florestan released from certain death.

Marzelline fancies Fidelio though! (tricky!). A gentle quartet ‘Mir Ist So Wunderbar’ softly sings of her love. The audience is deathly quiet.

One man in that audience needs to sneeze. The need is acute. Impossible to ignore. The man works hard to stifle the sneeze. He succeeds, but a Newtonian equal and opposite monster fart rocks the auditorium.

Reprieve onstage, but there’s death by embarrassment in the stalls.