nevillehunt avatar

by

Tweedledum and Tweedledee
Have an odd relationship
Our ornamental Box trees
Are joined at the hip.

The jolly twins have had some fun
Since first we moved in
Fatter, fatter every year
As we try to clip them thin.

Once they hid a foxhole
Fox family within
Until I peed into the lair...
And the fox moved out again.

This year we’ve got problems
As the twins were planted on
Our stone-built water feature
Now all the water’s gone.

The Tweedles are in trouble
Their root systems amok
Don’t piss about with me guys
Or Autumn it’s the chop.

7 comments add one below

  • avatar

    Drew Martyn 9 days ago

    An awesome poem, plus you learn so much on here - pissing in a foxhole gets rid of them, eh? Not that I'll ever need to do that (I hope) :)

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt 9 days ago

    Thanks Drew. Yes, human male pee certainly does the trick... it did for me... and it was relief all round!

    I think I might put a pic of the Tweedles up as my profile for a while... for a laugh. You might then see how they sit on our water feature.

  • avatar

    Drew Martyn 9 days ago

    Yes, please do Neville :)

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt 9 days ago

    Done... but it might take a while to appear like Mr H's cogs...

  • avatar

    Christopher 2 days ago

    I bet that's the first time someone pissed in a foxhole when there's wasn't a war going on!

    Lovely poem, Neville. And the visual aid of the profile pic helps this drabble to bloom.

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt 2 days ago

    Thanks very much Christopher. Peeing in the foxhole (male human pee) is well documented online as an effective way of giving foxes their marching (or sloping off) orders. The way to keep them away longer term is to pee all along the perimeter/boundary of your property apparently

  • avatar

    Christopher 2 days ago

    Human hair is also supposed to work to keep some critters off your property, if you scatter it around the boundaries. That's an old wives' tale but some of those are in fact true.

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