Enemy

I am the enemy.
As they sit upon our fence
Billing here and cooing there
Feigning innocence.

Handsome maybe
In their verminous fat way
Pumping out their boring call
Half the flipping day.

Repeating to each other
Coo-coooo-coo-coooo!
Other birds bring brilliance
Why can’t these ones too?

There upon the roofline
Scaring other birds
Sitting on our garden chairs
Laying monstrous turds.

One big fella
Much bigger than the rest
Makes me think of dinner
Pan-fried pigeon breast.

Hurling stones at every one
Here, there, everywhere
I am their enemy
But they don’t seem to care.