Name

I was christened Robert Roberts,
(My folks were taking the piss)
We had a tricky childhood
Me and Roberta, my sis.

Roberta was a cute young thing
So she was nicknamed Bobbie
For me, Rob was my moniker
And I was rather gobby.

The schoolyard was a challenge
(You know how kids can be)
I got into a fight or two
My name, my gob and me.

First it was a caution
“Custody next time!”
Subsequently, GBH
And that’s a proper crime.

Upon release I flourished
A banker I became
Made a living robbing
And lived up to my name.