Cruel, but it made me laugh

The man in the bed on my left was very poorly. He’d been bed-ridden for a week. With a week’s stubble growth, he needed a shave. He wanted a shave.

So when the menacing male nurse, a man from the Philippines resembling Odd Job, approached my neighbour’s bed, declaring: “You need a shave, maybe Saturday”, he was correct, but exhibited the tact of his Bond movie doppelgänger. My neighbour didn’t need either reminding, or a three-day delay.

As he left the ward, Odd Job told everyone.

“Saturday’s the best time. You know why?.... Because I won’t be here!”