Private dick

An old man walked into the doctor's surgery. He approached the desk.

The receptionist asked him "What are you seeing the doctor for today, sir?"

"There's something wrong with my dick!" he declared.

"Shhhh! You can't say that in a crowded doctor's waiting room. You'll embarrass everyone."

"You asked me and I told you." was his reply. "What do you suggest I say then?"

"Well, you could say there's a problem with your ear" the receptionist replied.

"OK then, I've a problem with my ear."

"And what's the problem with your ear, sir?"

"I can't piss out of it!"