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When you get a little older you have to be careful about middle-aged spread. If you want to keep your trim figure, you need to eat sensibly.

I hadn't been.

To remedy the situation and fit into those skinny jeans I'd left behind (large behind), I decided to diet.

I'd put some lovely haddock into the steamer along with lots of spinach, ready to cook, when I realised it needed an accoutrement. I rushed out, leapt into my car to travel the 300 yards to the high street.

Parking was hell, but the large chips was worth the effort.

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