Phoney caller

"Can you HEAR ME?"

I'm talking from the mouthpiece of London's Walkie Talkie. Looking down I see the mighty Thames, HMS Belfast, Tower Bridge, the Gherkin and the London Eye below. They're not what I'm talking about!

To get closer to you I leave the Sky Garden, stepping onto the viewing platform. It's open to the elements and the ether. Staff ready to stop me doing anything silly as I call out to you, but for a vertigogenous neurotic, it's the stuff of nightmares.

The glass wall's too high to climb, but if the wind's really, really strong... who knows...!