nevillehunt avatar

by

I laugh, I smile, I joke, full of bonhomie
But neath my skin, a mood I'm in,
I'm seething constantly.

My friends, my kith, my kin, are better placed you see
In my mind, I'm way behind
It matters much to me.

Their looks, their wit, their warmth. My mediocrity,
I'd give my all, to see them fall
Into obscurity.

Their skills and their possessions. Give them all to me.
(Would I could see all their good
As they see good in me.)


It calls for massive change, fundamentally
To be like them, I need to stem
My dreadful jealousy.

8 comments add one below

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt over 3 years ago

    Today is National Poetry Day in the UK. Yeah, I know, it's a PR event, but I couldn't let it go by uncelebrated (or should I say undrablrated).

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt over 3 years ago

    Thanks Anna Maria. Btw, I agree with Christopher that your comments are so well constructed that it's positively tragic that we haven't seen you publish any drabbles on the site yet. Go on! You know you can!

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt over 3 years ago

    Thanks to you too Michelle. Your comments are both encouraging and life-enriching.

  • avatar

    Drew Martyn over 3 years ago

    Wonderful. Family tensions eh? A case of "can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em". Got my vote, definitely.
    (I've been trying to encourage @porcelaintears to write for a while - I'm sure she will soon, she has a real gift.

  • avatar

    John Judge over 3 years ago

    Been following National Poetry Day myself.
    Really enjoyed this.

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt over 3 years ago

    Anna Maria, I have taught copywriting for many years and it's not unusual for people to feel as you do. What I do is take a risk all the time. I couldn't have got to over 100 drabbles and received your lovely comments and those of others without it.

    ....to be continued

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt over 3 years ago

    Anna Maria...continued
    What I always recommend (and practise) is to separate creating and evaluating. I create, getting all my possible thoughts on screen (better than on paper as it has added 'status'), overwriting, then a little bit later evaluating - editing with fresh eyes (sometimes 'the overnight test helps) and making minor or major concept or language changes as necessary. The evaluative process is anti-creative, albeit essential. It uses the opposite side of the brain - keep it in its place!

    Be courageous - the Drablr community is very supportive. I've done quite a few drabbles I will leave out of my book! Good luck :)

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt over 3 years ago

    Thanks John Judge for your comment. Radio 4 was full of National Poetry Day yesterday and it wasn't without rhyme or reason; there was some really good stuff. One of my favourites, narrated by HRH The Prince of Wales, was Robert Burns's 'My love is like a red, red rose'. It fair brought tears to my eyes! Took a while for them to 'gang dry'!

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