When he told me he was seeing someone else, I thought he meant he was having trouble focusing and couldn't quite make out if it was me. Turns out he was seeing another woman and moved in with her. I never thought he'd return.
I was pleased when he did come back though, but he only wanted to collect his computer. I'd thrown it away, so he was a bit rude. Called me a silly cow, but didn't realise that this silly cow had accessed online banking earlier and had transferred their savings from the joint account to her own.