I wanted to go to the South Pole. Don’t ask me why. I didn’t want to disturb the eco system there so I went to the shop and bought a penguin outfit, ooh and lots of thermal underwear too.
I can’t say I wasn’t worried; of course I was. No, not about the extreme cold or the generally inhospitable terrain. I was worried whether the penguins would take to me, you know, as one of their own. I had practised their call and was very good at it.
I scared them. That’s the problem with being six feet five tall.