Anniversary Wish
The knocking at the door was like scraping finger nails on a black slate chalkboard. His wife's whimpers were like those of a newborn puppy. The swoosh-swoosh in his ears was the sound the blood in his veins made with each heartbeat.
"Let me go," his struggling wife demanded.
"But it's not him," he pleaded. Grip slipping.
She broke free; his sweaty, groping hand found the charm.
He whispered a desperate wish, his wife foolhardily unlocked the door pulling it open. The doorway was empty. The son the industrial accident took from them last year was now gone forever.
- Category: Horror, Chillers & Ghost Stories
- Tags: Supernatural, Netherworldly
4 comments add one below
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Michael D. Brooks over 9 years ago
Thanks, Drew. I read the "Monkey's Paw" either in high school or as an undergrad many, many, many moons ago. I don't recall which now, but for some reason, it's always fascinated me.
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Richard Charles Davidson over 9 years ago
Great drabble, Michael. I know it's hard to do in a drabble, when you're trying to cram so much information into 100 words, but edit the last sentence. It comes across as very awkward. Reader might not need to know son was taken in an industrial accident. Hopefully this is helpful. I just don't like it detracting from an otherwise gripping tale.
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Michael D. Brooks over 9 years ago
Richard, I actually had another final sentence, but changed it in favor of what I eventually posted. In that one, I state more specifically what killed their son. I thought it was too gruesome and elected to mention his demise in a more vague manner. I will consider your suggestion, though.
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Horrorshow over 9 years ago
Notch up another vote from me. One of the best drabbles I've read this week. I like the final sentence as it is but would be very interested to see an alternative ending.
