What Have I Done to Deserve This?

I’ve survived another birthday chased by algorithms all day. Never like this before, my popularity’s soaring, judging by the deluge of goodwill received.
Family greeting cards followed the usual themes: racing cars, booze, impending senility and plain rudeness - a reflection of how I’m perceived perhaps?
But it’s the shower of well wishing emails from hotels, restaurants, wine suppliers, travel agencies, banks, theatres etc that struck a chord this year. Free bottles of prosecco, cinema tickets and opportunities to take Allegra dining for free have been tantalisingly dangled, even a mysterious offer of complimentary champagne from the Blue Moon Club, Pigalle.