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Rachel rolls her eyes at Jack showboating of his new dueling pistol to their friends again, overbearing confidence was attractive.

Sipping on wine, a peculiar woman wearing a simple black dress in the corner of the room quiet.

"I'm heading upstairs. You should really put that thing away," Climbing the red carpet steps to their massive bedroom, Rachel slipped off her black heels falling asleep.

BANG

Eyes shot wide-open, heart-pulsing quickly bewildered eyes looked into the blackness of the night.

'Backyard,'

Racing to the backyard, Jack lied on the bloodied concrete with the smoking pistol across from him.

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    Mikaela Fitz over 4 years ago

    I like how sassy your character Rachel is, and how her advice was actually incredibly crucial in this very short story. The impact is very strong with your use of onomatopoeia and there is definitely an air of mystery to this as readers wonder who the shooter might've been, whether is was Jack himself or another person.

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