TOILET HUMOUR
I’ve bought a comfort toilet.
I’m upwardly mobile. I’ve come a long way from the dark days of the war when the outside loo would freeze over.
We used to dig a hole behind a tree when we camped at Lake Bala. Even having a toilet tent was not an easy answer when the zip broke.
The French just stand by the road. The Belgians consecrate theirs with a proper pissoire for the public.
I see you can now buy a ComfortCleanse for a squeaky clean butt. I’ll wait for the one that speaks your weight. Will it be graduated?
- Category: True Stories Told As Fiction
10 comments add one below
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Neville Hunt over 3 years ago
Hahaha! Well dunnee Brian! In Finland I was on two separate occasions subjected to a board with a hole in the woods. One didn’t want to hang around too long and that wasn’t just because of the cold.
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Brian Mackinney over 3 years ago
In China I had to buy the toilet paper. He gave me one sheet. I didn’t know the Chinese for diarrhoea.
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Neville Hunt over 3 years ago
If it smelt as bad as you say, Drew, it sounds like it might have been a very ‘high’ point! 🤢
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Neville Hunt over 3 years ago
In the wonderful Hermitage art gallery in St Petersburg the ladies toilets had Wild West saloon doors according to Mrs H. Those outside could see feet and knickers when seated and chest and above when standing. And the loo paper went into a bin, not to be flushed away (eeeew!). The doors to the gents’ stalls were similar, but fortunately for me trouser dropping was unnecessary!
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Neville Hunt over 3 years ago
My late friend who was a private pilot to the uber-rich, told me that in some parts of Kazakhstan near Almaty he had to go, there was no loo paper, just a second hand corn cob on a stick (Eeeeew squared!)
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Neville Hunt over 3 years ago
Sounds like a right pain in the a*se and left and centre too! My chum always took his own bog paper, and food wherever he went after his first experience of Kazakhstan. But, changing the subject, I must be one of the few people in Britain to have a genuine Kazakh hat. I might change my profile image for a week or so to model it for you all. (How did I get it? It’s along story, but it might fit in 100 words... we’ll see...)
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Neville Hunt over 3 years ago
Brian, congratulations... this drabble seems to getting a good stream of comments/discussion going. Must be the subject... or more likely the tasteless toilet experiences we’ve all had!
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Neville Hunt over 3 years ago
Now that you come to mention it Drew, I haven't. I think I'll do a selfi in the khasi for posting. The hat makes me look a right twat, but that's not an unusual phenomenon!
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Neville Hunt over 3 years ago
Done! (Or is it dunnee?) Now to upload it... but based on previous experience it might take you a while to cache up...
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Neville Hunt over 3 years ago
You reckon?🥴
