Gym Ninja

The look she threw me mixed scorn and pity in equal measures.
“You promised me you’d sort out your weight.”
“I did,” I said, “and I have.”
“What have you done? You still eat too much, drink too much, and you and exercise are total strangers.”
“That’s a bit unfair,” I said. “I’ve become a gym ninja.”
“What the hell is a gym ninja?”
“Well,” I said, “if you look for me at the gym, you won’t find me.” And the voice in my head added ‘well played, gym ninja, well played.’
“Idiot,” she said as she walked away… forever.