Etiquette Class

I always wanted to teach. Ever since I was little, I'd wrangle up a few neighborhood animals and bring them into my shed, pretending to teach them their ABCs or some other dumb thing. The problem was, I didn't have no people friends to play with. People were mean. One time, the other kids saw me cry and picked on me 'til I peed my pants. I tried to teach 'em to be nice, they they didn't listen. Well, they listen now, and I get to teach. They'll learn some damn manners, one swipe of my knife at a time.