I wanted to. But the shutters fell whenever stress hit - heavy iron doors in my mind clanged shut, bolts shot into the wall and the whole edifice instantly rusted shut, locked and impenetrable. The link between my mind and mouth severed and my tongue froze while somewhere in the farthest reaches of my mind a small boy screamed for help even though he knew I would ignore him and no one else could hear.
I fought to explain, let her understand. But my body refused to comply and while I looked on, it pretended insouciance, a nonchalant disregard for everything.