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She left me in a pickle #1

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She left me in a pickle
I don't know what to do!
She took my books and records
And left for someone new.

Her Daddy owns a factory
Makes marmalade preserve.
She's a millionairess,
Just what I deserve.

I never really liked her
She'd often scream and shout.
She's the kind of undead psycho
They wrote Zombieland about

I'm uncomplaining really,
Unconcerned she went away,
But she took my books and records
And she'll sell 'em on eBay.

She'd leave me in the dark
When she'd put herself about.
She's the sort lights up a room
Just by walking out.

8 comments add one below

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt 6 months ago

    Love it Drew, especially the last line! :-)

  • avatar

    Drew Martyn 6 months ago

    Thanks Neville :)

  • avatar

    Christopher 5 months ago

    Gave me a chuckle. I'll catch up with your new series and everyone else's writings soon. Been really busy. And I have a family member that's currently having to take dialysis so I haven't been able to keep up with things here. Going to try and rectify that this weekend.

  • avatar

    Drew Martyn 5 months ago

    Thanks Christopher - hope all goes well with your family member :)

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt about 1 month ago

    This duet appears as one of my saved links. I've said it before, but I think this diptych is absolutely fab-u-lous. I chuckled all the way through each one, line by rhyming line to each of the final lines. It's so good it needs a far wider audience.
    It's a double cracker, Drew!

  • avatar

    Drew Martyn about 1 month ago

    Haha thanks Neville. I've actually submitted this to a funny verse contest. Haven't heard anything yet, deadlines in August sometime.
    There's a new contest opening in August by the same publisher if you fancy having a go (which I seriously think you should!). Search Wergle Flomp (seriously) and Winning Writers, that should find it. :)

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt about 1 month ago

    Thanks for the tipoff Drew. I will definitely follow these up. Btw, looking at the Seren website, it's frightening how many writers there are knocking around. Some serious competition i guess.

  • avatar

    Drew Martyn about 1 month ago

    Yes, definitely. So many books, so little time. Writing's certainly not an easy path to riches and fame is it? Bloody good fun though :)
    And definitely go for it Neville - I've no idea what the competition level is like, but you'd at least be a contender I reckon.

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