Fatherly Instinct

[The crying commences]
He applies the pacifier.
[Crying continues]
He changes the diaper.
[Crying continues]
Inspiration! He administers the bottle.
[Crying continues]
His frustration mounts as he grabs toy after toy after toy; all to no avail.
[Crying worsens]
"What the Hell do you want?!" he exclaims.
[More crying]
He places Finding Nemo into the DVD player.
[The opening scene plays]
[Crying continues unabated]
A moment of brilliance! He switches the DVD's, and puts on Hotel Transylvania.
[Crying continues]
She enters the room, picks the child up, and rocks him gently.
[Crying stops]
He collapses in a heap of uselessness.