Happily Ever After

The grandfather clock in the ballroom must have been slow. Now she is sitting inside a giant pumpkin, wearing one glass slipper, a dinner plate-sized pip stuck up her backside and no fairy godmother in sight.

Cursing her misfortune and the stupid grandfather clock, Cinderella smashed the glass slipper and started carving (it was either that or slit her throat) all the while her tears plopping onto the mushy pumpkin gunk under her feet.

Thus, she lived unhappily ever after. (Joke)

She won the best Jack-o-Lantern contest the next day. First prize: a date with Prince Charming!