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Welcome, East Midlands Hospital Transport. Our office is open 8am-8pm.
If you would like hospital transport please press 1 and have your NHS number ready. Your call is important to us.
Hello, Hospital Ambulance service. What do you require?

Hello, Transport to the hospital please.

I need to check if you are illegible first.

Do you mean eligible?

Yes, illegible. Do you use a wheelchair?


Then you are not illegible.

Oh, but am I eligible?

No, you are illegible unless you are wheelchair bound or need a stretcher.

So I am not eligible then.

No you are illegible

5 comments add one below

  • avatar

    Drew Martyn about 1 year ago

    Haha life itself must be pretty illegible to whoever that was.

  • avatar

    Jamie Clapperton about 1 year ago

    Thanks for the chuckle. ;-)

  • avatar

    Marion E Ball about 1 year ago

    I tried to get the point over but she wasn't having any of it.

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt about 1 year ago

    Ha! I’ve just realised it is a true story. Seems like she was ill-iterate as we say in academic circles.

  • avatar

    Christopher 8 months ago

    Haha! Probably trying to find out if you were in the country illegibly!

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