Mail order bride

At first I thought my Dad hadn't realised his mail order bride was regularly being substituted with a different woman.

The first meal my new stepmother served was a Thai banquet. Her recipes were so gourmet after years of microwave cookery that several weeks passed before I noticed she had doubled in weight, acquired extensive tattoos and begun specialising in Mexican cuisine. Subsequently she shrank dramatically, changed racial characteristics, and started preparing sushi.

Perhaps my Dad is an unwitting stooge in some human trafficking ring, Still, given the improvement to our mealtimes, I'm certainly too polite to make a fuss.