frenchie avatar

The Dark Thoughts Collection #7

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She can’t remember the first time she did or why.
Every time the blade sliced into her skin, she winced at the pain but it was nothing compared to the pain in her tortured mind.
Hidden in her room, safe from a world she didn’t understand, she stood alone, mesmerised by the crimson rivulets slithering down her arms.
For every cut, one word left unsaid. She kept cutting, mechanically, until she could feel no more. Then she cleaned herself and rolled down her sleeves.
The first time but alas, not the last.
So young, so hard on herself. Why? Why?

7 comments add one below

  • avatar

    Frenchie 3 months ago

    I wrote this because self harming by cutting is on the rise. Parents whose teenagers self harm often feel so much guilt themselves and suffer as much as their children. They feel they fail as a parent, failed to protect, failed to understand. Healing for both is a slow process.

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    Neville Hunt 3 months ago

    Really well done Frenchie. This seems to be a real problem and the isolation these (young) people suffer is frightening. I have a niece who was hospitalised with anorexia and I fear for all young people who have conditions like these. My niece seems OK now, but her folks are always on the lookout for signs.

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt 3 months ago

    Good title btw.

  • avatar

    Frenchie 2 months ago

    Thanks Neville. I am glad your niece is ok but I can relate with her parents always on the lookout for signs because my own daughter...

  • avatar

    Neville Hunt 2 months ago

    Sorry to hear that Frenchie... but I rather suspected that you might have a personal experience.

  • avatar

    Drew Martyn 2 months ago

    That is such a beautiful piece and I feel for you Frenchie. As a parent you do feel totally lost and adrift when it happens, but though the guilt is natural it really is wrong.
    It's a problem that's always existed, though I wonder if the problems of growing into the adult world are exacerbated by social media in that kids (and adults) can live in a fake social media world which makes their sense of self more difficult to find and makes the transition into adulthood so much harder.

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    Drew Martyn 2 months ago

    The "empty inside" and "making myself really feel something" are valid reasons for young people, but perhaps it would help for them to know that doing so really is a way of locating their self, albeit a way that isn't often used, and is not the first step towards doing something worse. They get through it, and hopefully with support come out of it not feeling ashamed or guilty about what they did.
    I wish you and your daughter the very best.

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