Chocolate is the key to heaven

Everyone thinks at the Pearly Gates you’ll be greeted by St. Peter. Wrong! He’s just a billboard face – it’s us poor Admin Angels that process every new applicant. I mean, seriously, there's thousands of deaths every day, that’s like thinking Santa delivers every present himself! Don’t tell the higher powers, but I used to be really conscientious and evaluate every newbie fairly but now I pretty much just rubberstamp in anyone I like the look of. I’ve had a few complaints from people claiming to be nuns going down south but that’s what they get for not bringing chocolate.